Spanish grammar, una locura

Spanish is a dodgy language. Kind of schizophrenic. When you conjugate, for example, they have different conjugations for 2nd person formal and informal ("vos" and "usted", informal and formal respectively). Yet the "usted", which is formal, is conjugated like the 3rd person (he/she). Which means that when you speak to someone respectfully you are actually conjugating as if they were not there. In my head I imagine myself talking to a judge or a respected professor, but instead of looking at them I'm giving them my back and talking about them, instead of to them.

And that's not to mention the Argentine specificities... No use detailing them all here, but basically I know I'm learning Argentinian and will eventually have to go back and learn "Spanish" proper, because this isn't it. Argentinian is not spoken but sung. Your intonations are rising and falling in all the wrong places as if you're chirping to a sparrow instead of ordering a coffee. Seriously.

And then there's rioplatense spanish, the dialect they speak around the Rio Plata, which is different from Argentine Spanish, which itself is different from other Spanish. So while the "s" is being swallowed and the double-l is being pronounced as a "sh" for some reason, you think you've learned spanish but actually the only persons who understand you are somewhere between Buenos Aires ... and Buenos Aires.

Ok I exaggerate, but honestly, it's different.